- Let's hope you don't spend as much as 007. No, really.
- Will Luke Skywalker ever have an excellent credit score?
- Find out why The Joker is a financially savvy criminal.
It all started one day with a thought: what do we each put on our credit cards? Let's be honest, we'd love a peek at someone's statement to see what they drop their hard-earned coin on. Then, one day, the Credit Card Compare team joked wondering what Luke Skywalker's credit card would look like. And so, eight fictional credit cards were born. For the fun of it, we imagined and illustrated these cards to explore how each character would use the card along with their imagined credit limit, credit score, whether they'd miss a payment and what on earth they spend money on.
Join us for an inside look at the spending of some of the world's most loved characters.
Since graduating from Hogwarts, saving the wizarding world, and settling down with Ginny Weasley, life has been less dramatic for Harry Potter. Despite being a stickler for the rules, word on Muggle Street is that even the boy who lived is tempted to wave his debt away… “Evanesco!” (but you didn’t hear that from us). Weekends normally call for a ‘few’ rounds of butterbeer with Ron, at Harry’s expense. If we had a Knut for everytime we heard Ron say “Next time it’s on me…”
Credit score: Very Good
Credit limit: $5,000 (a modest amount for a humble guy)
Spends the most money on: Butterbeers and maintenance of his not-for-profit in memory of Dumbledore.
Most likely to miss a payment because: He’s busy as usual helping his pals get their crap together. One word: Hagrid.
Card features: The Gringotts’ Bank Galleon Back Card gives a percentage back for every purchase made with Muggle money. This card also magically converts muggle money to wizarding galleons, which comes in handy for our favorite characters.
Headstrong, impulsive yet kind – Skywalker (in many ways) is a walking contradiction. Apparently this one time he kicked back for a Fireball Whisky with Obi-Wan Kenobi in La Cantina, only to have his card swiped on the sly by Greedo The Bounty Hunter. Well played Greedo, well played. Other mishaps include lending his plastic to Han Solo only to have it flagged for fraud many times. Pro tip: don’t give your credit card to a notorious smuggler, even if he’s a mate.
Credit score: Fluctuates from Good to Below Average (depending on proximity to Han Solo).
Credit limit: $10,000
Spends the most money on: Bailing Han Solo out of jail from yet another smuggling gig gone wrong. #ThiefProblems
Most likely to miss a payment because: That time he decided to hang out on Ahch-To, aka the lost planet, which led to a long stint of hermetism (and missed payments). Sometimes the force isn’t enough.
Card features: The Force Rewards Card is ready to supply both Jedis and Sith Lords with what they need. Customers who choose the “light” rewards card earn points when they spend on things like brown robes, protocol droids, and blue milk, while customers with the “dark” rewards card get points on weapons, black masks, and burn cream.
Move over the Big Four, Stark Industries only issues covetable cards for the elite. 50% genius + 50% philanthropist = 100% billionaire, which duh, means Tony Stark won’t lend to just anyone. Well, unless you’re an Avenger. With brains and money to boot, he could probably commission the dwarves of Nidavellir to create The Infinity Gauntlet 2.0 if he really wanted to… but alas, they made something even better. #NotASpoiler
Credit score: Excellent
Credit limit: $500,000
Spends the most money on: The Avengers Tower is worth around $600 million. Word on the grapevine is Tony decked the lush interiors out with his credit card and maximised his rewards points through the Qantas Mall. Peasant First Class is beneath Tony (private jet anyone?), but we bet he’s collecting points for a rainy day because Tony always capitalises on any situation.
Most likely to miss a payment because: He’s floating around space (cheers Doctor Strange) scouring the ship for the food Thor nabbed.
Card features: The ever-powerful Tony Stark eases many financial burdens for the Avengers squad via the Stark Card. This is a special card with no spending limit, given out to only the most elite partners and friends of Stark Industries. Each Avenger has their own personalized card like the ones pictured above for Spiderman, Iron Man, and Captain America.
The name’s Bond, ‘I never pay for anything’, James Bond. It’s no secret someone else always foots 007’s bill for things like the Aston Martin DB5 ($1.65 million) and 5-star weekend getaways in Venice ($5,000 for 3 nights in a standard room.. Except Bond doesn’t do standard, so really we’re talking $10,000 minimum). With an unlimited “business” credit card, everything is paid for on the Queen’s dime. Yes, e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g.
Credit score: Excellent
Credit limit: Unlimited
Spends the most money on: Multiple bottles of $5,819 Chateau Mouton Rothschild Pauillac Premier Cru Classe 1947 (per week, obviously) to $5,000 three-piece Tom Ford suits and even the odd $9 bottle of Heineken.
Most likely to miss a payment because: M forgot to pay his bill. Because Bond doesn’t do bills, let alone paperwork.
Card features: James Bond’s MI6 Secret Agent Card changes to whatever the agent needs it to. It contains cutting edge technology that allows it to switch names, numbers, and types depending on what the secret agent needs at that moment.
Stephen King’s It
What does a shape-shifting creature with billions of years of "life" experience under its belt spend money on? That's the golden question. Then there's the fact Pennywise the clown is only on earth once every 27 years, which makes us think paying off his credit card on time definitely isn't a priority. Given his credit score would be wiped each time he comes back to Derry, he probably enjoys a lavish lifestyle. Well, within his homicidal means.
Credit score: Average
Credit limit: $5,000
Spends the most money on: Some shoes with good support would no doubt be on his credit card statement, 'cause hey, this clown has got to walk to find his dinner. Other purchases include a top-tier dental plan (cannibal priorities), a truck tonne of face paint and Costco sweets in bulk.
Most likely to miss a payment because: Guaranteed to purposely miss a payment. All the time, every time.
Card features: The You’ll Float Too Rewards Card is available for use in multiple dimensions. Rewards accumulate every 27 years and “float,” so rewards at one store are applicable at another, which is an ideal perk for Pennywise’s shape-shifting lifestyle.
There are supervillains and then there's The Joker. A master criminal with a taste for homicide, crime and violence – wreaking havoc on Gotham City definitely doesn't come cheap. You know, things like blowing up the odd hospital. Totally normal behaviour for a run of the mill psychopath. Expect to find explosives, stolen weapons, an array of purple suits and endless decks of cards on this criminal's credit card statement. A brilliant genius, he no doubt knows the ins and outs of any financial institution and ensures his credit score is a reflection of his IQ.
Credit score: Excellent
Credit limit: $25,000
Spends the most money on: TNT, jack-in-the-boxes, razor-tipped playing cards and maybe a whoopie cushion (filled with poisonous gas).
Most likely to miss a payment because: An unlikely thing to happen, but if it did, it's probably because he accidentally blew his online banking details to shreds. Oh, the criminal life!
Card features: This expired Gotham National Bank credit card is the Joker’s one link to his past before his descent into a life of vicious crime. Sometimes, the Joker uses this old card for a brutal weapon, to create a “Chelsea smile” on his victims, but for the most part, keeps it as motivation to terrorize Gotham further.
Lord of the Rings
Let's be real – Gollum would no doubt lose a credit card or two, much like his precious ring. Over his 589 years on Middle-earth, he probably footed a credit card bill for bribes, a jewellery cabinet for his precious and maybe the odd rowboat to catch those blind fish. Sméagol, on the other hand, would try to make good decisions. You know, things like paying a bill on time, not killing anyone and actually trying to be a decent person (we use the term person loosely).
Credit score: Average
Credit limit: $2,000
Spends the most money on: Bribes. Lots of bribes. Because you can never be too careful with my precious.
Most likely to miss a payment because: He's too busy stalking Bilbo Baggins or polishing his precious ring.
Card features: The My Precious Points Card is special, and dangerous because it has an enchantment on it that causes the user to become increasingly more obsessed as they accumulate rewards points. Across Middle-earth, owners of this card go to extreme lengths to keep it hidden away from others.
Pirates of the Caribbean
"And you will always remember this day, as the day you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow!" – what the pirate would probably say to debtors chasing him for a mass of missed credit card payments. A trickster of the high seas, lover of rum and thievery – yeah, you guessed it, he’s not reliable and this trait transfers to how seriously he takes his credit card repayments.
Credit score: Below average. Way way below.
Credit limit: $1,000
Spends the most money on: “But why is the rum gone?” ...say no more.
Most likely to miss a payment because: Well, have you ever tried paying a bill after drinking a bottle of rum...
Card features: These Pirated Credit Cards belong to sailors all across the Caribbean who have fallen victim to identity theft at the hands of Captain Jack Sparrow. In fact, while Norrington and Barbossa were writing him off, he was in their pockets, stealing their gold-backed credit cards and spending their money on rum, food, supplies, and munitions, but mostly rum.
While regrettably, none of these cards exist in the real world, we hope you had as much fun with them as we did. While we can't help you find a card with Stark's $500,000 credit limit, we can help you compare some of the best credit cards out there.